Dignity
by friendlyneighborhoodcanarystan
Summary: All good things must come to an end.


The presence of a parent(s) didn't always guarantee a lack of rebellion with Killua being living, breathing proof. But perhaps, the odds of her rebelling wouldn't have been so high if Gotoh were still alive, if he had been alive to continue drilling into her mind the importance of her job but most importantly, of staying alive. Gotoh was dedicated to his job, so dedicated that she felt like he would've turned his back on her if he were still here, would've been so disappointed in her.

"You have potential," he'd always tell her. "Don't waste it."

And waste it was exactly what she'd gone and done because she just couldn't resist giving into her selfish desire to love and be loved by him. She'd gone and made her bed a long time ago and now she had no choice but to lay in it.

Kikyo couldn't stand to look at the woman, no, the _wench_ that had dared to forget her place. The matriarch's balled fists went slack, the woman stomping up to the wretched apprentice butler with her hand raised, winding it back to strike the suited woman across the face when Father's voice made her pause.

"Kikyo," came Zeno's voice, his tone calm, yet warning.

Kikyo gritted her teeth, begrudgingly dropping her arm back down to her side, glaring down at the insignificant, disobedient, useless woman who currently wasn't looking her in the eye. "Look at me, apprentice butler." There was absolutely nothing special about those pair of grey eyes staring back at her, nothing special about the woman standing before as a whole so why in the world would her precious Kil waste his time on her? "It doesn't matter if the child has the blood of a Zoldyck running through its veins. _Your_ blood is still part of it, which is unacceptable."

She'd never felt more small, more helpless, submitting herself under her mistress's murderous gaze. The elegant woman's bloodlust wrapped around her neck like an enclosed fist.

The wench should be thankful for Father and Papa's presence. How she wanted to kill her right where she stood and then Kil would never have to worry about her and the child growing within her womb ever again. Since she couldn't kill the waste of a woman like she wanted, it was only fair that the child die as punishment. "You are to abort the baby, apprentice butler."

Canary had never in her life felt more sick, swallowing the foul tasting bile that had risen up her throat. Dear god… Her fingers twitched with the desire to clutch at her still flat stomach. A-Abort her…_their_ baby? God, she could not start hyperventilating in front of her superiors right now, the pregnant woman trying to steady her breathing.

Silva stared at the apprentice butler, at the woman his most promising son had crossed the biggest line with and for reasons he would never know. While his father was the one in charge of overseeing Canary and her ever growing development, he himself had been monitoring her. She was an apprentice butler full of promise, one he'd envisioned replacing Gotoh, the now deceased butler who had only been second to Tsubone. It wasn't just her skill and intelligence that was noteworthy, though but her beauty. His son's attraction to her certainly made sense.

"How about a better option, apprentice butler?"

Kikyo froze, her manicured nails digging into her skin. What was Papa doing?

Canary looked past the shoulder of the tall woman standing in front of her, blinking at the head patriarch of the assassin family.

How hadn't he noticed the signs? After all, it was only Canary who Kil kept coming back for to bring along with him and the thing and no one else. Just because he allowed his heir to roam free didn't mean he still didn't have big plans for him, didn't mean that he'd let his affections for this woman veer him off the path he had carefully set for him.

"It's clear to me that you want to keep the child. I'll allow it but on a couple of conditions."

Kikyo spun around so she could properly look at her husband, seething. "Papa!"

She had to tell herself to keep breathing, having never felt so anxious.

Silva lifted the side of his head up from his fist, gripping both of his knees as he stared at Canary. "If you want to keep the child, you are to resign, apprentice butler."

Kikyo ground her teeth together in frustration. A simple resignation? No, that just wouldn't do! Even as Kikyo's addressing Canary, she's still looking right at her husband, "Not only must you resign, apprentice butler but you are to also leave Padokea and never return." Papa's mouth was unmoving, his silence indicating to her that he didn't mind her proposal. She decided to take it even further. "And lastly, you are to never come into contact with my Kil ever again. Should you disobey, we'll have you and the child killed. Do you understand, apprentice butler?"

_Breathe, Canary. Breathe…_ Her mind took her back to one of the last memories she wanted to dwell on right now.

Stargazing had become something they'd become extremely fond of doing together. There had always been an extreme lack of satisfaction she felt inside when she'd been at her usual post in front of the gate, head craned upwards, the stars reflecting in her eyes as she tried passing the time by admiring the beauty of the twinkling, faraway lights. But when she was lying in the grass with Killua, their shoulders brushing, she had never been able to ignore the light feeling in her chest.

"Remember what you told me?"

Canary turned her head to look at him, the man keeping his eyes on the night sky above, rather than turning his head to look at her.

"You said the stars look a lot different in Meteor City."

Ah, Meteor City. …Her home.

Killua turned his head, his lips forming a smile. "I'm sure you remember your promise to be my guide. Take me and Alluka there."

Meteor City, much like herself, wasn't much. Who was she kidding… The city of trash was where she'd come from and if it weren't for the Zoldycks, it'd be the only place she could go back to. She gives him a small smile. "It isn't the type of place you and Alluka would be interested in visiting."

He takes his hand away from his chest so he can run the back of it down her face, letting his hand stop at her neck, curling his fingers around the back of it. "It's your home so of course I'd—_WE'D_ be interested in visiting."

His mind is made up and when it is, there's no getting him to back down. She watches as his eyes flicker down to her lips, Killua drawing his face closer to hers until his lips came into contact with hers, Canary closing her eyes.

_Don't cry, Canary. Whatever you do, don't cry._

Canary furrowed her eyebrows. That's strange… She could've sworn she felt Killua's presence but now it's like he's just up and…vanished. The apprentice butler is about to funnel all her focus into feeling around for the man's presence when a hand suddenly shoves her into the lake. It doesn't take long for the disgruntled woman to resurface, drenched to the bone and her lips in a frown as she glares up at a grinning Killua who at some point when she was underwater, had gotten into the lake himself. His hands find her waist, pulling her against him.

"What's the matter, Canary bird?" Killua says, his tone irritatingly cheerful.

She's unamused when his hands travel lower and squeeze her ass. "If I catch a cold, I'll be sure to get you sick, too."

He laughs at her atypical petulance, pecking her on the mouth. The humor and mischief in his eyes vanishes, Killua's gaze suddenly soft and nostalgic. "From my first ever mission as an assassin to now, it was always you waiting there at the gate."

She's confused by his sudden change in mood but she stays quiet, simply staring up at him, an intensity she's come to heavily associate him with in his eyes.

He gently caresses the beautiful woman's cheek. "I'll always keep coming back for you."

She smiles at him, the love in his eyes making her feel indescribably warm inside. "And I'll always be there at the gate waiting."

_Leave this place with your dignity intact._

God, she hasn't wanted to cry this badly, since Gotoh died. Trying to swallow the lump in her throat is useless, Canary swallowing one more time before finally opening her mouth. "Yes, I understand perfectly, mistress."


End file.
